After some much needed time to reflect and get focused with this blog, I’m back with some more simple living content.
Giving myself permission to have something of a reset, to stop or at least slow down and get back on track and feel energised and re-enthused when I need it is essential.
One of the first things to take a dive when I feel like I’m getting off track or I’ve been pushing too much is my enthusiasm. Everything starts to feel like a hard slog and it’s as though the enjoyment has been sucked out of life.
I’ve learned when I need to push through what I call a “slumpy time” (when everything feels like a slog), and when I need to call a time out on my life and reassess my activities and the forward trajectory of where I’m going and what I’m doing.
March 2023 was one of those times where I needed a time out to reset.
My Slowing Down Process
During this time I gave myself permission to do everything slowly and intentionally, and really embrace simple living.
With the energy of nature winding down at the beginning of autumn here in the southern hemisphere, I rested, I read a lot, I did some strategic life planning and I took care of some medical things that I’d been putting off.
One of the first things I do when I have a reset is to write out everything I’ve put on my plate. I get it all out, from the big projects to the small tasks I’ve been putting off, to decisions that need to be made.
When I have all that laid out (I’m a visual and kinaesthetic processor), I go through and feel out what projects are truly important, keeping in mind my ideal life, and what my priorities and values are in this season of my life. I feel like for someone who’s typically indecisive I’ve made some good decisions by having my values, priorities, and ideal life in mind and in view, written down to refer to as I go.
I also consider the projects that I could simply get rid of, or any that I need to rethink and do differently that aren’t working very well or as well as they could be.
By highly simplifying the activities and projects I have on the go, it feels like I free up so much time. This is probably the case, but what I think is also happening when I simplify things is that I free up an incredible amount of my bandwidth (which is basically the mental, emotional, and sometimes physical capacity for things).
Just as having fewer things to manage in our physical space by decluttering helps us feel freer and less bogged down, having less things to manage in our day to day lives (and only managing what we really need or want to manage) helps us feel the same freedom, and takes away a lot of overwhelm.
This freeing up of time and bandwidth can sometimes come with some tough decisions that need to be made, as well as some possibly challenging conversations with people.
It’s been worth it for me; I’m feeling happier, freer, and less prone to negative depression spirals, anxiety attacks or autistic meltdowns. I make better decisions in alignment with the life I’m here to live.
I feel more in control and more able to cope with life by paring down my things, my activities, not filling my schedule with so many unnecessary busynesses and focusing down on the things that are truly important.
When I’ve pared down and feel focused, I get to work. Slowly and intentionally.
Radical Acceptance: The Power of Being Okay
I remember with many issues I’ve had over the years, particularly psychological and emotional but also some life-related issues, nobody ever told me how I was and who I was was okay.
Nobody ever told me it was okay not to drive. Or that it was okay to live differently from what the hustly mainstream culture dictated.
It seems I bought into the idea that everything needed fixing, I needed fixing, and I was deeply broken because I didn’t do x y and z.
Now I’ve come to terms with not doing x y and z just because society seems to think they’re necessary or desirable. X y and z are all things that come from others, who I no longer place as experts on how I ‘should’ be living my life. I instead look within, to nature and the spiritual powers that be.
So I’m over here doing p q and r rather than x y and z. I’m embracing simple living. And I’m okay with that.
Simplifying over Decluttering
The last thing to note from my little blogging hiatus is prioritising simplifying over decluttering.
Sometimes and to a lot of people, decluttering is a loaded word. Loaded with expectations or preconceived ideas (often perpetuated by others and society at large).
Simplifying (tying in nicely to the simple living theme) is broader with more scope and doesn’t seem so loaded to me.
When I look at my possessions with the mindset to declutter, I find that I tend to hold onto sentimental items out of guilt or aspirational items out of “someday I might be a [insert my flavour of the month here]”. I also find I hold onto things that if they spontaneously combusted in my hands I’d be relieved that I didn’t have to deal with them anymore (a concept from The Minimalists I use quite a lot when deciding whether to keep certain items).
But if I look at paring down my possessions with the mindset to simplify (because I’m prioritising my whole body-soul wellbeing and living spaciously and freely), then I feel more open to letting things go with the larger simplifying-my-life goal in mind.
I also apply this to my daily schedule (and life in general); to think of my fierce prioritisation as simplifying life rather than decluttering.
Decluttering is object and task focused, whereas simplifying helps me tap into the broader purpose of why I’m here.
It’s all about where the focus is.
To put it another way, while decluttering focuses on the things being got rid of or pared down, simplifying focuses on the big picture and the why, taking the focus off the things or activities and on the feeling state that we might achieve by paring down items and tasks.
Because really it’s the feeling we want when we want something, not the thing (experience, object, relationship, job etc.) itself.
Final Thoughts
Now that I’m back, what are your thoughts about life in the slow lane? Did anything resonate with you?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or reach out to me at [email protected].
Love,
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